As social creatures, a large part of our lives are affected, shaped, and defined by the relationships we hold. These relationships don’t magically sprout into being; they start, are nurtured, and evolve.
During any professional relationship people might treat you in a way that upsets you. At these points in time, it is vital to take a breath and remember that no one you ever meet knows exactly how you like to be treated just as you do not know what they expect in return.
As I spend time helping people develop their professional relationships, I have learned an important lesson: creating the right dynamic often takes time and directed effort. A few guidelines I find to be helpful are…
- Don’t wait and see: Sometimes we need to actively explain certain ways in which we want to be treated; passive methods will often fail.
- Pay attention to their needs: Just as they can not know what your relationship needs are, you can not know theirs. Showing respect first makes it easier to discuss any issues you may have.
- Mind the little details: You need to actively pay attention to all the cues you give about how you like to be treated.
- Never give up: Constantly cultivate understanding regarding how you want to be treated. This is not a “do it once and forget about it” activity.
- Don’t put up with crap: You have certain “walk away” behaviors; respect that. It will only hurt you if you don’t talk to people when they break these – A fear of confrontation can hurt relationships as much as anything else.
There are people in life who are just going to be difficult, rude, etc… However, if you are not getting what you need in any important relationship, investing time to correct what does not work for you will pay dividends.
Your favorite Hospitality Coach,
Dave D
